Smooth & Me

There is a guy at work whom I'm friends with. Lets refer to him as "smooth". Smooth is a good friend because our personalities complement each other. He is outgoing and cocky while I'm (outwardly) reserved and polite. However as you can guess, our minds think very much alike. One day while at work we created a "workplace scale".

Basically its code words we could say openly in the workplace to rate women and nobody would be any the wiser what we were talking about. Basically if you would have sex with the woman, she starts off at 1. So if you wouldn't have sex with her, aka she is a creature from the black lagoon, she starts off with a zero. Next you rate her face on a 1-10 scale. You take that number and hold onto it in the back of your mind. You then rate her body on a 1-10 scale. You should have three numbers now.

Lets do an example because I can see you are already confused. Lets say there is a woman named "Mindy". Mindy is quite attractive, and I'd have sex with her and her face is a 6 and her body is a 7. Mindy's score would be a 167. "Consuela" (another fictional character) on the other hand looks like she crawled out of a primordial ooze pit. I wouldn't have sex with her because her face is a 3 and her body is a 4. Consuela's score is a 34. The convienience of the scale is that if a woman scores above a one hundred you would have sex with her. If not, you don't.

So all day we throw around numbers and nobody has any idea what we are talking about. I know...I know...it's genius.